The Pattern

Jeg tenkte vi kunne ha en tråd hvor vi kunne skrive ned vitser, vise hverandre filmer, kanskje vise noen morsomme bilder?
Det trenger ikke nødvendigvis ikke være Wheel of Time vitser, selvfølgelig På tide å ha det litt morsomt, ikkesant?


A day in the life of a dog and a cat

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my
contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
B4stards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe.
For now.

En youtube film:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsPw649qN9I

WoT vits:

Sign outside the White Tower: "No Sniffing Area."

Alle fløt på vannet bortsett fra stein

A warning for the weekend!

Beer contains female hormones

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results
of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain
phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women ..

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour
period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing..
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8 ) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer!


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and He
doesn't travel light, the driver notices
that the Pope is still standing on the curb

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver,

'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never
let me drive at the Vatican , and I'd really like to drive
today.'

'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
And what if something should happen?' protests the driver,
wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'There might be something extra in it for you,' says the
Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs
in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets
his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff
floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

'Please slow down, you’re Holiness!!!' pleads the worried
driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until
they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my
license,' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop
approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back
to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's
stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that - he's really
important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.

The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Governor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'




Cop: 'He's got the f**ing Pope as a chauffeur!

Jeg har på følelsen av at død baby-vitser kanskje ikke passer så godt inn her

død baby-vitser?

Vet ikke om den passer her da... men...

Pickup-line

Lan: When I look at you it's not only my face that looks like a rock.



Apple's new product: http://www.dinside.no/php/art.php?id=522955

Fra 4chan




Død baby-vitser? Vitser om døde babyer... Hva er mer artig enn en død baby? Osv... De er grove!

Hvis du vil se flere morsomme skilt så sjekk ut denne sida:

http://www.engrish.com/

Mizu wrote:død baby-vitser?

Vet ikke om den passer her da... men...

Pickup-line

Lan: When I look at you it's not only my face that looks like a rock.

HAHAHA hihih...

Hvordan får man ti babyer inn i en plastbøtte? Svar:

Spoiler

blender

Hvordan får man ti babyer ut av en plastbøtte? Svar:

Spoiler

nachos!

Hva er morsommere enn en død baby? En død baby i klovnedrakt.



Hva er morsommere enn en død baby? En død baby som sitter ved siden av en baby med down syndrom.



Hva er forskjellen på en trampoline og en død baby? Når du hopper på en trampoline tar du av deg skoene først.



Hvordan stopper du en baby å kravle rundt på golvet i sirkel? Spikr den andre hånden til golvet også.



Hvordan gjør du en mann gravid? Press en død baby opp i ræva hans.


Og flere døde baby vitser

http://www.grovevitser.com/dodbaby/vitser01.php

Det var altså disse vitsene jeg så på som litt for grove da

haha.. trampoline...!

Hva er forskjellen på en trampoline og en død baby? Når du hopper på en trampoline tar du av deg skoene først.

Denne var så fantastisk, at jeg måtte bruke den på exphil eksamen idag, lurer på om jeg stryker på grunn av det, eller på tross av det.

Tror lærerne mine ville gitt meg anmerkning...